Thoughtful quotes about dreams and visions.

Words of Wisdom

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Einstein)

"Dreams are illustrations...from the book your soul is writing about you." (Marsha Norman)

"Our dreams are the sequel of our waking knowledge." (Emerson)

"As in dreams, so in the scarcely less fluid events of the world, every man sees himself in colossal, without knowing that it is himself. The good, compared to the evil which he sees, is as his own good to his own evil." (Emerson)

"The habit most worth cultivating is that of thinking clearly even though inspired."

"Reality can destroy the dream; why shouldn't the dream destroy reality?" (George Moore)

"Picture in your mind a sense of personal destiny." (Wayne Oats)

"Vision is the art of seeing things invisible." (Swift)

"Do something worth remembering." (Elvis Presley)

"Your reason and your passions are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can toss and drift, or else be held at a stand still in midseas." (Kahil Gibran)

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. (Edmund Burke)

"We must describe with our lives the future we want to see for our children." (Rich Heffern)

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." (Proverbs)

"What is now proved was once only imagined." (William Blake)

"You see things; and say, Why?" But I dream things that never were; and say, "Why not?" (George Bernard Shaw)

"It is our thinking that we must modify if we are to make and implement the decisions necessary to protect the world we live in." (Margaret Mead)

"Vision is the art of seeing things invisible." (Swift)

next:Education/Learning

In my last column, I discussed ideas and strategies for relieving loneliness. About 12 years ago, I began my studies of how people who experience troubling emotional symptoms like loneliness, anxiety, depression, mania and psychosis relieve these symptoms and go on to do the things they want to do with their lives. I wanted to learn the simple, safe, everyday things that people do to help themselves feel better - both for myself, to help relieve my own depression and anxiety, and to share with others through my work.

Over the years, I have talked with thousands of people about this topic. One finding that is consistent is that the number one way that people relieve loneliness and develop systems of support is by joining a support group. In this column, I will describe some of my own experiences with support groups, and will give you information that may be helpful to you if you decide a support group would be useful to you.

My Experience with Support Groups

When I first learned this intriguing piece of information about support groups, I was a bit "put off." "Me go to a support group?"

In fact, I had some misconceptions about support groups. I think they got some bad press for a while. I thought I would have to share everything I was thinking and that others might judge me. Perhaps they would talk about me behind my back or tell others what I had said. Maybe the other members of the group wouldn't like me. They might demand too much of me. What if it was all "touchy, feely" - I'm not sure why I was afraid of that.

Being a brave soul, I talked to some people I knew who had symptoms similar to mine about starting a support group. They didn't seem to have my reservations and began holding weekly meetings for anyone in the community who experienced mood disorders. The group was a great success. It's been going for 12 years now! Some members are still the same, but new members keep joining, while old ones move one. Happily, many friendships, begun in this group, have lasted over the years and are still strong. I continue to attend occasionally and it is a warm, wonderful experience.

Not long after this first positive experience with a support group, a friend came to me and said, "I want more women in my life - more friends. I want to start a support group." I was interested. We spread the word and had 12 people at our first meeting. This group is still strong and active 10 years later. It has gone through many changes - in membership, style, process, and focus - but one thing has remained: a strong commitment to friendship and mutual, respectful support. The group has weathered the storms of change and loss and strengthened its commitment as a result.

Each Monday night, the group gathers at the home of one of the members and, while sipping herbal tea, spends two hours discussing our feelings, the rich everyday happenings in our lives, and topics like aging, parenting, commitment, purpose, and spirituality. While these weekly meetings remain the central focus of the group, those friendships have provided a circle of support that is there whenever it is needed: the illness of an adult child, a parent's dying, a career change, the death of a spouse, divorce, family discord, hurt feelings; when living seems like a journey that is too difficult to maneuver. Recently, members of the group climbed to a mountaintop to share their grief as a member of the group was dying. And together we celebrate the joys of life - the marriages of our children, new grandchildren, our own achievements and those of the people we love, the beauty of the natural world, and the richness of our everyday experiences.

Finding and Attending a Support Group

As you can see, I have become convinced of the value of support groups. If you are not a member of a support group, and want to widen your circle of friends and connections with others, you may be asking, "How does one find a group to join?"

You can begin by looking at the Community Calendar in your newspaper. They may have notices of support groups that are open to new members, including:

• Groups for women or men;

• Groups for people of certain ages (like a group for women in menopause or for men who are retiring);

• Groups for people with special needs or conditions (like caregivers, cancer patients, diabetes patients, people attempting weight loss, or people working to address addictions or bereavement);

• Groups for people who have "special circumstances" (like having a parent with Alzheimer's, being recently divorced, or being a crime victim); or

• Groups for people with common interests (like book clubs, bridge players and hikers).

A "12-Step" group that addresses an issue in your life, such as alcohol addiction or weight control, may sound right to you. You might locate a group by calling your local mental health center or community help line. Your physician or counselor might be able to direct you to a group. Ask your family members, friends, neighbors and colleagues for help in locating groups.

The next step is the hardest - going the first time. Everyone has a hard time going to a support group the first time. Sometimes, it's hard to make yourself go, even if you enjoy the group and have been attending for some time. Excuses like the following may keep you from going:

• I'm too tired when I get home in the evening.

• I'm fearful of meeting new people.

• I'm afraid I won't be liked.

• I'm afraid I won't be welcomed.

• It feels very risky.

• Transportation is difficult.

• I can't find a group that seems to fit me.

• I don't like to tell others what's going on with me.

Try to get past those issues, figure out how to do it, and go.

Attend a support group several times before making a decision about whether it is the right one for you. Every group can have an off night in which things just don't "gel." You will know if this is not the right group for you if, after a few meetings, you still feel like an outsider. Don't give up! Search out another group.

If you are going to attend a support group and connect with the other people in the group, you must feel safe there. Many groups address this need by having a set of guidelines or rules for the group, sometimes called a safety contract. At one of the first group meetings, the members can discuss what they need to feel safe in the group. While this list varies from group to group, depending on the purpose and focus of the group, some of the most common guidelines are agreements that:

• Personal information shared in the group will not be shared with anyone outside of the group meeting.
• Group members do not tell people outside of the group who attends the group.
• There is no interrupting when a person is speaking or sharing.
• Everyone gets a chance to share. Some groups limit each person's sharing time to 10 minutes to insure that everyone gets time to speak.
• If you don't feel like talking or sharing, you don't have to.
• Members are respectful of each other and treat each other with mutual high regard.
• Judging, criticizing, teasing or "put-downs" are not allowed.
• Group members give other group members feedback only when it is requested.
• A person may leave the group whenever she or he wants or needs to take care of personal needs, to be comfortable, or to attend to other responsibilities.
• Attendance is optional.

Starting a Support Group

If you can't find a support group that meets your needs, consider starting one of your own. It's not a difficult thing to do. One simple way to do this is to invite several people you know to come to a meeting and encourage them to invite other friends as well. Setting it up with another person makes the process easier and more fun. There are many options for groups and there is no one "right way" for a group to be. The following ideas may help:

1. When a support group is always open to new members, it may be difficult to be closely connected to the other members and to share personal information. For this reason, the group may want to put restrictions around when people may come into the group. Support group members can decide if the group will always be open to new members (an open group) or if it will accept members until a certain number of members has been reached or until a certain date and then no longer be open to new members (a closed group).

2. Sometimes, groups get so big they become hard to manage. You may want to restrict your group to a certain number of participants. If a group is so big that not everyone gets a chance to speak and be supported, or if there are so many people in the group that people can't get to know each other well, you may want to divide the group into smaller groups.

3. Decide when you want to meet and for how long. Many support groups meet in the evening, but they can meet any time that is convenient for the members.

4. Find a place to hold the meetings. Libraries, churches, schools, hospitals and health care agencies are good places to look for free space to use for support group meetings. If there is a charge for the space, you might have to ask group members to pay dues or to pay a certain amount each time they attend. If your group is small and is limited to a few people who know each other well, you may decide to hold the meetings in one person's home or to take turns hosting the meeting.

5. Depending on the kind of support group you are starting, you may need to think about or discuss how you are going to get people to come to the group. You may want to:

• Ask each person who has worked on setting up the group to invite several friends or others he or she knows by personal invitation, phoning them, mailing them a note, or sending them an e-mail;
• Put a notice of the meetings in the local newspaper or newspapers;
• Ask your local radio station or stations to announce the group;
• Ask that the group be listed on your local community access television bulletin board; and/or
• Hang posters describing the group in places where interested people might congregate (for instance, if it is a group for people with a particular illness, you might put up posters in doctors' offices and hospital waiting rooms).

Formats for support groups vary widely. The members of the support group decide how they want the meetings to be. If things don't work well one way, the group can choose to do them another way.

Support Groups Are One Piece of a Plan

I hope this column has helped you to understand the value of support groups and given you information that will be helpful if you decide you want to be a member of a support group.

While I feel that the right support group is a valued addition to anyone's life, please remember that it cannot be expected to meet all of your needs for support. A support group can be one part of your plan for wellness, but does not replace the need to maintain close connections with your family and friends, nor does it substitute for having people available with whom you can share the details of your daily life.

next: Starting an Exercise Program
~ back to Mental Health Recovery homepage
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

Full description of Panic Disorder. Definition, signs and symptoms of a panic attack, causes and treatment of panic disorder.

Panic Disorder is a serious condition that around one out of every 75 people might experience. It usually appears during the teens or early adulthood, and while the exact causes are unclear, there does seem to be a connection with major life transitions that are potentially stressful: graduating from college, getting married, having a first child, and so on. There is also some evidence for a genetic predisposition; if a family member has suffered from panic disorder, you have an increased risk of suffering from it yourself, especially during a time in your life that is particularly stressful.

Panic Attacks: The Hallmark of Panic Disorder

A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming fear that comes without warning and without any obvious reason. It is far more intense than the feeling of being 'stressed out' that most people experience. Symptoms of a panic attack include:

• racing heartbeat
• difficulty breathing, feeling as though you 'can't get enough air'
• terror that is almost paralyzing
• dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea
• trembling, sweating, shaking
• choking, chest pains
• hot flashes, or sudden chills
• tingling in fingers or toes ('pins and needles')
• fear that you're going to go crazy or are about to die

You probably recognize this as the classic 'flight or fight' response that human beings experience when we are in a situation of danger. But during a panic attack, these symptoms seem to rise from out of nowhere. They occur in seemingly harmless situations--they can even happen while you are asleep.

In addition to the above symptoms, a panic attack is marked by the following conditions:

• it occurs suddenly, without any warning and without any way to stop it.
• the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation; often, in fact, it's completely unrelated.
• it passes in a few minutes; the body cannot sustain the 'fight or flight' response for longer than that. However, repeated attacks can continue to recur for hours.

A panic attack is not dangerous, but it can be terrifying, largely because it feels 'crazy' and 'out of control.' Panic disorder is frightening because of the panic attacks associated with it, and also because it often leads to other complications such as phobias, depression, substance abuse, medical complications, even suicide. Its effects can range from mild word or social impairment to a total inability to face the outside world.

In fact, the phobias that people with panic disorder develop do not come from fears of actual objects or events, but rather from fear of having another attack. In these cases, people will avoid certain objects or situations because they fear that these things will trigger another attack (agoraphobia).

How to Identify Panic Disorder

Please remember that only a licensed therapist can diagnose a panic disorder. There are certain signs you may already be aware of, though.

One study found that people sometimes see 10 or more doctors before being properly diagnosed, and that only one out of four people with the disorder receive the treatment they need. That's why it's important to know what the symptoms are, and to make sure you get the right help.

Many people experience occasional panic attacks, and if you have had one or two such attacks, there probably isn't any reason to worry. The key symptom of panic disorder is the persistent fear of having future panic attacks. If you suffer from repeated (four or more) panic attacks, and especially if you have had a panic attack and are in continued fear of having another, these are signs that you should consider finding a mental health professional who specializes in panic or anxiety disorders.

What Causes Panic Disorder: Mind, Body, or Both?

Body: There may be a genetic predisposition to anxiety disorders; some sufferers report that a family member has or had a panic disorder or some other emotional disorder such as depression. Studies with twins have confirmed the possibility of 'genetic inheritance' of the disorder.

continue to: Living with a Panic Disorder

Panic Disorder could also be due to a biological malfunction, although a specific biological marker has yet to be identified.

All ethnic groups are vulnerable to panic disorder. For unknown reasons, women are twice as likely to get the disorder as men.

Mind: Stressful life events can trigger panic disorders. One association that has been noted is that of a recent loss or separation. Some researchers liken the 'life stressor' to a thermostat; that is, when stresses lower your resistance, the underlying physical predisposition kicks in and triggers an attack.

Both: Physical and psychological causes of panic disorder work together. Although initially attacks may come out of the blue, eventually the sufferer may actually help bring them on by responding to physical symptoms of an attack.

For example, if a person with panic disorder experiences a racing heartbeat caused by drinking coffee, exercising, or taking a certain medication, they might interpret this as a symptom of an attack and , because of their anxiety, actually bring on the attack. On the other hand, coffee, exercise, and certain medications sometimes do, in fact, cause panic attacks. One of the most frustrating things for the panic sufferer is never knowing how to isolate the different triggers of an attack. That's why the right therapy for panic disorder focuses on all aspects -- physical, psychological, and physiological -- of the disorder.

Can People with Panic Disorder lead normal lives?

The answer to this is a resounding YES -- if they receive treatment.

Panic disorder is highly treatable, with a variety of available therapies. These treatments are extremely effective, and most people who have successfully completed treatment can continue to experience situational avoidance or anxiety, and further treatment might be necessary in those cases. Once treated, panic disorder doesn't lead to any permanent complications.

Side Effects of Panic Disorder

Without treatment, panic disorder can have very serious consequences.

The immediate danger with panic disorder is that it can often lead to a phobia. That's because once you've suffered a panic attack, you may start to avoid situations like the one you were in when the attack occurred.

Many people with panic disorder show 'situational avoidance' associated with their panic attacks. For example, you might have an attack while driving, and start to avoid driving until you develop an actual phobia towards it. In worst case scenarios, people with panic disorder develop agoraphobia -- fear of going outdoors -- because they believe that by staying inside, they can avoid all situations that might provoke an attack, or where they might not be able to get help. The fear of an attack is so debilitating, they prefer to spend their lives locked inside their homes.

Even if you don't develop these extreme phobias, your quality of life can be severely damaged by untreated panic disorder. A recent study showed that people who suffer from panic disorder:

• are more prone to alcohol and other drug abuse
• have greater risk of attempting suicide
• spend more time in hospital emergency rooms
• spend less time on hobbies, sports and other satisfying activities
• tend to be financially dependent on others
• report feeling emotionally and physically less healthy than non-sufferers.
• are afraid of driving more than a few miles away from home

Panic disorders can also have economic effects. For example, a recent study cited the case of a woman who gave up a $40,000 a year job that required travel for one close to home that only paid $14,000 a year. Other sufferers have reported losing their jobs and having to rely on public assistance or family members.

None of this needs to happen. Panic disorder can be treated successfully, and sufferers can go on to lead full and satisfying lives.

How Can Panic Disorder Be Treated?

Most specialists agree that a combination of cognitive and behavioral therapies are the best treatment for panic disorder. Medication might also be appropriate in some cases.

The first part of therapy is largely informational; many people are greatly helped by simply understanding exactly what panic disorder is, and how many others suffer from it. Many people who suffer from panic disorder are worried that their panic attacks mean they're 'going crazy' or that the panic might induce a heart attack. 'Cognitive restructuring' (changing one's way of thinking) helps people replace those thoughts with more realistic, positive ways of viewing the attacks.

continue with: Treatment for Panic Disorder

Cognitive therapy can help the patient identify possible triggers for the attacks. The trigger in an individual case could be something like a thought, a situation, or something as subtle as a slight change in heartbeat. Once the patient understands that the panic attack is separate and independent of the trigger, that trigger begins to lose some of its power to induce an attack.

The behavioral components of the therapy can consist of what one group of clinicians has termed 'interoceptive exposure.' This is similar to the systematic desensitization used to cure phobias, but what it focuses on is exposure to he actual physical sensations that someone experiences during a panic attack.

People with panic disorder are more afraid of the actual attack than they are of specific objects or events; for instance, their 'fear of flying' is not that the planes will crash but that they will have a panic attack in a place, like a plane, where they can't get to help. Others won't drink coffee or go to an overheated room because they're afraid that these might trigger the physical symptoms of a panic attack.

Interoceptive exposure can help them go through the symptoms of an attack (elevated heart rate, hot flashes, sweating, and so on) in a controlled setting, and teach them that these symptoms need not develop into a full-blown attack. Behavioral therapy is also used to deal with the situational avoidance associated with panic attacks. One very effective treatment for phobias is in vivo exposure, which is in its simplest terms means breaking a fearful situation down into small manageable steps and doing them one at a time until the most difficult level is mastered.

Relaxation techniques can further help someone 'flow through' an attack. These techniques include breathing retraining and positive visualization. Some experts have found that people with panic disorder tend to have slightly higher than average breathing rates, learning to slow this can help someone deal with a panic attack and can also prevent future attacks.

In some cases, medications may also be needed. Anti-anxiety medications may be prescribed, as well as antidepressants, and sometimes even heart medications (such as beta blockers) that are used to control irregular heartbeats.

Finally, a support group with others who suffer from panic disorder can be very helpful to some people. It can't take the place of therapy, but it can be a useful adjunct.

If you suffer from panic disorder, these therapies can help you. But you can't do them on your own; all of these treatments must be outlined and prescribed by a psychologist or psychiatrist.

How Long Does Treatment Take?

Much of the success of treatment depends on your willingness to carefully follow the outlined treatment plan. This is often multifaceted, and it won't work overnight, but if you stick with it, you should start to have noticeable improvement within about 10 to 20 weekly sessions. If you continue to follow the program, within one year you will notice a tremendous improvement.

If you are suffering from panic disorder, you should be able to find help in your area. You need to find a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional who specializes in panic or anxiety disorders. There may even be a clinic nearby that specializes in these disorders.

When you speak with a therapist, specify that you think you have panic disorder, and ask about his or her experience treating this disorder.

Keep in mind, though, that panic disorder, like any other emotional disorder, isn't something you can either diagnose or cure by yourself. An experienced clinical psychologist or psychiatrist is the most qualified person to make this diagnosis, just as he or she is the most qualified to treat this disorder.

This article is designed to answer your basic questions about panic disorder; a qualified mental health professional will be able to give you more complete information.

Panic disorder does not need to disrupt your life in any way!

For comprehensive information on panic and other anxiety disorders, visit the HealthyPlace.com Anxiety-Panic Community.

Source: American Psychological Association 2003

back to: Psychiatric Disorders Definitions Index

Detailed tips to explain bipolar disorder, including signs and symptoms, to a loved one.

How do you explain your, or a loved one's, condition to the others? Here are a few sentences to help you organize your thoughts. Choose the most appropriate explanations and modify as needed.

Here's How:

1. Stripped down to basics, people with bipolar disorder have mood swings, from elation to depression, that don't necessarily have anything to do with what's going on in their lives.
2. Bipolar disorder is also called manic depression, and it appears to be caused by electrochemical abnormalities in the brain.
3. TV shows like to show people with bipolar disorder as criminals, but don't worry - only a small percentage are ever violent, and I'm not one of them!
4. "Mania" and "manic" don't mean "crazy" - they refer to extra high emotions, full of energy, fast-talking, not needing much sleep [add appropriate symptoms].
5. I am a rapid cycler - that means I can be ultra-excited one day and deeply depressed the next, for no obvious reason. [Modify this to fit the person's cycle pattern.]
6. I get into what are called "mixed states" when I seem to have a lot of energy but at the same time am really down, angry or panicky.
7. There are a lot of possible medications for bipolar disorder. My doctor has started me out on _____, but if that doesn't work, we'll just try something else.
8. When I'm manic, I have particular problems with [choose symptoms like: spending too much money, talking too much, not making a lot of sense].
9. Inappropriate anger can be a symptom of bipolar disorder. I might say or have said hurtful things that I really don't mean - I'm sorry! Finding the right medication should help control that behavior.
10. When I get depressed or into a mixed state, I sometimes feel suicidal. That's my illness talking - but it's serious. You might have to get me to a hospital if I seem really bad.
11. Bipolar disorder seems to be inherited but the exact cause is not known yet.
12. Don't worry if I _________ [behavior you and your doctor agree is symptomatic but not dangerous by itself].
13. If I start ________ [behavior you and your doctor agree is dangerous], tell me to call my doctor, or take me to the hospital.

Tips:

1. All of the above can be modified to be about someone else, not yourself - e.g., "He is a rapid cycler" or "she gets into mixed states."
2. Educate yourself as much as possible about your condition by reading up on it, and urge close family members to do the same.
3. Give careful consideration to whom and to what extent you share these very personal details about yourself. There are those who will simply never understand. If you lose a friend, it is their loss!

next: Dealing with Family Tensions Caused by Bipolar Disorder
~ bipolar disorder library
~ all bipolar disorder articles

Quest for Freedom!

~ An insight into OCD ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

My OCD Diary is a personal account of my struggle with OCD and my determined fight to get free from it. I included all my monthly entries over a nearly two year period so you can get a feel of what it's like living with OCD and to also let you know that you are not alone in what you're going through. You might want to start with the bottom entry; the very beginning of my OCD Diary.
~Sani~ 

next: My Obsessively Clean Diary: October, 2000
~ ocd library articles
~ all ocd related disorders articles

1. Listen to girls. I focus on what is really important--what my daughter thinks, believes, feels, dreams and does --rather than how she looks. I have a profound influence on how my daughter views herself. When I value my daughter for her true self, I give her confidence to use her talents in the world.

2. Encourage my daughter's strength and celebrate her savvy. I help her learn to recognize, resist and overcome barriers. I help her develop her strengths to achieve her goals, help other people and help herself. I help her be what Girls Incorporated calls Strong, Smart and Bold!

3. Respect her uniqueness, Urge her to love her body and who she is. I tell and show my daughter that I love her for who she is and see her as a whole person, capable of anything. My daughter is likely to choose a life partner who acts like me and has my values. So, I treat her and those she loves with respect. Remember 1) growing girls need to eat often and healthy; 2) fad dieting doesn't work, and 3) she has her body for what it can do, not how it looks. Advertisers spend billions to convince my daughter she doesn't look "right." I won't buy into it.

4. Get her playing sports and being physically active. Start young to play catch, tag, jump rope, basketball, Frisbee, hockey, soccer, or just take walks.... you name it! I help her learn the great things her body can do. Physically active girls are less likely to get pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with abuse. The most physically active girls have fathers who are active with them!

5. Get involved in my daughter's school. I volunteer, chaperone, read to her class. I ask questions, like: Does her school use media literacy and body image awareness programs? Does it tolerate sexual harassment of boys or girls? Do more boys take advanced math and science classes and if so, why? (California teacher Doug Kirkpatrick's girl students didn't seem interested in science, so he changed his methods and their participation soared!) Are at least half the student leaders girls?

6. Get involved in my daughter's activities. I volunteer to drive, coach, direct a play, teach a class - anything! I demand equality. Texas mortgage officer and volunteer basketball coach Dave Chapman was so appalled by the gym his 9-year-old daughter's team had to use, he fought to open the modern "boy's" gym to the girls' team. He succeeded. Dads make a difference!

7. Help make the world better for girls. This world holds dangers for our daughters. But over-protection doesn't work, and it tells my daughter that I don't trust her! Instead, I work with other parents to demand an end to violence against females, media sexualization of girls, pornography, advertisers making billions feeding on our daughters' insecurities, and all "boys are better than girls" attitudes.

8. Take my daughter to work with me. I participate in April's Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work® Day and make sure my business participates. I show her how I pay bills and manage money. My daughter will have a job and pay rent some day, so I will introduce her to the world of work and finances!

9. Support positive alternative media for girls. Our family watches programs family that portray smart savvy girls. We get healthy girl-edited magazines like New Moon and visit online girl-run "'zines" and websites. I won't just condemn what's bad; I'll also support and use media that support my daughter!

10. Learn from other fathers. Together, we fathers have reams of experience, expertise and encouragement to share  - so let's learn from each other. I use tools like the newsletter Daughters: For Parents of Girls (www.daughters.com). I put my influence to work  - for example, Dads and Daughters protests have stopped negative ads. It works when we work together!

next: How Many Children Have Eating Disorders?
~ eating disorders library
~ all articles on eating disorders

Guidelines for dealing with ADHD and related disability issues while out job hunting.

Disability Disclosure and Interviewing Techniques for Persons with Disabilities

Deciding when to disclose a disability can be a difficult choice for a person with a disability who is job hunting. If you have a hidden disability such as a learning disability or a psychiatric impairment, when and how to disclose your condition can be a real dilemma. Below are some guidelines for dealing with disability issues in the pre-employment process:

Step one: Start with a Good Resume

Take time to write a good resume. This is a written summary of your education, training, work experience, and most importantly, contact information. A resume should have three basic components:

1. Name, address, telephone number, and e-mail address;
2. Education and training experiences; and
3. Work history and experience.

Do not overlook the value of non-paid work experience such as internships, volunteer activities, and work that you have done for non-profit organisations such as a church, civic organisation, or political party.

Step Two: Write a Cover Letter

A cover letter is used to introduce you to the perspective employer. It should briefly identify who you are and why you are applying for the position. It also should invite the employer to contact you for an interview. Be sure to enclose a copy of you resume with this letter.

A cover letter also gives you your first opportunity to disclose your disability. This would be to your advantage if:

1. You are applying for a job with a state or federal agency that must comply with affirmative action policies;
2. The job you are applying for directly relates to your experience as a person with a disability such as a rehabilitation counsellor; or
3. Having a disability is a qualification for the position.

For example a job as an addictions counsellor may require that an individual be a recovering alcoholic.

Step Three: Completing Applications

For most people, the employment process begins with a company's job application. How you obtain and fill out this application can be the first impression the employer has of you. If you go to the job site to obtain an application, be mindful of your appearance. While it may not be necessary to wear your best interview suit it is important to wear clothes that are clean, ironed, and free from tears or holes. Be polite and come prepared with a pen or pencil and a copy of your resume. If possible, take the application home with you. This will allow you to complete the information in a calm, stress-free environment. Remember that neatness counts.

The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) prohibits employers from asking medical or disability-related questions on a job application. The exception to this is that a government agency can ask an applicant to voluntarily disclose a disability for affirmative action purposes. Otherwise, if you encounter specific questions about your disability or medical history, leave them blank. If necessary, this can give you the opportunity to explain why you did not answer the questions instead of why you intentionally gave false answers.

Step Four: The Interview

For most job seekers, the interview is the "make it or break it" point. Remember that you have about a minute to make a good first impression, and first impressions mean everything during this stage of the employment process. Disclosure of your disability is critical at this point if accommodations, such as access to the building, are necessary to do the job. Do your homework! If you know the location for the interview is not accessible to you, contact the person who will be interviewing you and request an alternative location. It is a good idea to have a location in mind, just in case the interviewer needs some suggestions.

If you do not know if the location is accessible, call and ask questions about whether there are accessible parking spaces available or whether the building has an elevator. It is better to deal with these issues ahead of time than 15 minutes before your interview. This also shows your perspective employer that you are able to deal with these situations effectively.

The best way to handle difficult questions during the interview is to be prepared for them. Make a list of the questions you know you are going to have trouble with and formulate an answer, and then practice your delivery of these answers so you will be ready from them. For example, "I see that there is a two year gap in your work history. What have you been doing during this time?" This is an opportunity to talk about what you have been doing, not what you have not been doing. Think about valuable life experiences that you have gained during this time. Have you been taking care of children or a parent, going to school, taking art classes, or volunteering? This question may prompt you to disclose your disability if you have not already done so. Be sure to do it in a way that shows how you have dealt with a difficult situation in a positive manner. Remember to keep the past in the past, stating that you are ready to move forward and are qualified and able to do the job you want.

Remember to talk about your abilities, not your disabilities. Employers need qualified, capable individuals to fill positions. Find a way to show that you are that person. Sell them on what you can do, not on what you cannot do and the interview will go better than you expect. Be positive about yourself and be honest.

Good Luck!

next: Do Benefits of Intensive ADHD Medication Management Last
~ back to adders.org homepage
~ adhd library articles
~ all add/adhd articles

My husband is an alcoholic who has been in treatment 4 times over the last 4 years, the last time being a year ago (he has been relapsed 1 yr). He cannot make it past the 90 day period, is continuously losing jobs and has no desire to do anything but sit and drink. He knows that he needs to go through detox and work through the program, but getting him there is difficult - he says he doesn't feel ready....... How do you get them there, is it bad to have family help to escort the alcoholic.....any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just have a difficult time watching him deteriorate and don't want to be pulled into this madness.

Dear ----:

Escorting your husband to treatment isn't the issue. He's been there four times, and it's done him no good.

How you get your husband to treatment is to have him want to be there. Do you have children together? How do you support yourself (your husband and you and anyone else in your family)? If these things are not important enough to your husband, it will be hard for him to find positive motivations to enter and follow through on treatment.

My web site in general is not a good one in which to find ways to "work the program." The philosophy I endorse is to ask a person what they want, and to offer them different ways to get there. For me, this includes standard treatments and AA (at which your husband has failed repeatedly), alternate treatments (groups such as Rational Recovery and SMART Recovery), possibly continuing drinking (but after a period of abstinence and at a reduced rate), and change without treatment.

Obviously, whatever goal or method is selected, the person must be committed to it. If he fails, he must either renew a commitment or select another route.

You are right to fear being dragged down by this relationship, as to a large extent you may already have been. If you want to be helpful, you can first assist your husband to focus on what in his life is more meaningful than drinking/intoxication. The second thing you can do is make your relationship part of the reward for his sobriety. That is, if you find his alcoholism painful for you, then you must withdraw from the relationship until he remedies it. You can also offer rewards for sobriety -- providing companionship and support for the moments when he behaves well towards you and others.

Obviously, this calls for you to rethink your relationship with your husband. I appreciate that you do not want to watch a man you love deteriorate. But this has been happening for quite some time now, and you must do something different (just as your husband must). And, at this point, the only individual's behavior you can control and change is your own.

Best wishes,

Stanton Peele

next: Palm eBooks
~ all Stanton Peele articles
~ addictions library articles
~ all addictions articles

Suicide has become much more common in children than it used to be. For children under age 15, about 1-2 out of every 100,000 children will commit suicide. For those 15-19, about 11 out of 100,000 will commit suicide. These are statistics for children in the USA. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children ages 10-14 and the third leading cause of death for teenagers 15-19. Recent evidence suggests it is the lack of substance abuse, guns, and relationship problems in younger children which accounts for the lower suicide rates in this group.

The main way children kill themselves depends on what lethal means are available and their age. In countries where guns are readily available, such as the USA, that is the usual cause of suicide. Other causes are strangling and poisoning.

Suicide attempts that do not result in death are more common. In any one year, 2-6% of children will try to kill themselves. About 1% of children who try to kill themselves actually die of suicide on the first attempt. On the other hand, of those who have tried to kill themselves repeatedly, 4% succeed. About 15-50% of children who are attempting suicide have tried it before. That means that for every 300 suicide attempts, there is one completed suicide.

What makes a child more likely to attempt suicide?

If a child has major depressive disorder, he or she is seven times more likely to try suicide. About 22% of depressed children will try suicide. Looking at it another way, children and teenagers who attempt suicide are 8 times more likely to have a mood disorder, three times more likely to have an anxiety disorder, and 6 times more likely to have a substance abuse problem. A family history of suicidal behavior and guns that are available also increase the risk. The vast majority (almost 90%) of children and adolescents who attempt suicide have psychiatric disorders. Over 75% have had some psychiatric contact in the last year. If a number of these are present, suicide risk needs to be carefully assessed regularly. If children are constantly dwelling on death and think being dead would be kind of nice, they are more likely to make a serious attempt.

Many people have thought that the main reason that children and adolescents try to kill themselves is to manipulate others or get attention or as a "cry for help". However, when children and adolescents are actually asked right after their suicide attempts, their reasons for trying suicide are more like adults. For a third, their main reason for trying to kill themselves is they wanted to die. Another third wanted to escape from a hopeless situation or a horrible state of mind. Only about 10% were trying to get attention. Only 2% saw getting help as the chief reason for trying suicide. The children who truly wanted to die were more depressed, more angry, and were more perfectionistic.

Predicting suicide is very difficult. It is even more difficult in children and adolescents. When we discuss suicide, there are three different levels of concern.

Suicidal Thinking in Children

This means a person is thinking about suicide but has no plan. This is not uncommon. About 3-4% of adolescents will have considered suicide in the last two weeks. However, these thoughts are much more likely, and more likely to be serious, if the child has previously made a suicide attempt is depressed, or is pessimistic. Children who are still depressed and have made previous suicide attempts are extremely likely to be thinking seriously about suicide.

Example: Jenna is 13. She is quite depressed. She has most of the depression symptoms mentioned. She sleeps poorly, she has no energy, can't concentrate on her work and is super cranky. She thinks about running away or how nice it would be to out of this horrible life. She thinks sometimes about killing herself, but she doesn't think about how she might do it. At the moment, she says she is too scared to actually do something. This is suicidal thinking.

Children and Teens with Suicidal Plans

This means that you are thinking about suicide and have a way to do it in mind.

Examples: Allan is 12. From what he can see, life gets worse every year. He can not imagine living like this for 50 more years. He is very irritable, is always getting in fights with his parents, and mostly says and thinks that "Life sucks!". He goes out for walks and thinks about two things. First, jumping in front of a truck. He doesn't do this because he is afraid it won't work. That is, he will end up hurt but not dead. Second, he thinks about going down to the wharf and jumping off. He is not exactly sure how to do this to make sure no one saves him.

Tina is 15. She is also very depressed. She is waiting until Friday night. Her parents are going out and leaving her home. She has been collecting Tylenol and her Grandmother's heart pills for the last two weeks. She has almost 100 pills. She has been working on a suicide note. She is scared that she will "blow it" and tell someone.

Ryan is 15. He is depressed, but has not been thinking about suicide. In fact, he told his mother this a few days ago. He told the doctor the week before that he wasn't thinking about suicide. But now, at 10:15 at night, he has had it. His mom will not let him go and see his girlfriend. That is, his ex-girlfriend. She told him on the phone this evening that she just wants to be friends. Ryan can't take it anymore. He has decided to break a light bulb and cut his wrists and just see what happens. If he dies, fine. That's okay with him.

These are all suicidal plans. Some suicide plans are well thought out, like Tina's. Others are very impulsive, like Ryan. Others are not that serious yet, like Allan's.

Suicide Attempts in Children and Adolescents

This means you have actually tried to hurt yourself. These can be medically serious or not serious. They can be psychologically serious or not. About 40% of teenagers will have thought about suicide for only a half hour or so before they try something. The most frequent reason for these impulsive suicide plans are relationship problems.

Medically non-serious, Psychologically non-serious

Janet is 13. She has dysthymia but has never been treated. She has a new boyfriend who is very nice to her. The only problem is that her parents will not let her go out with him by herself. He is 17, does not go to school, and is on probation for selling cigarettes to other children. That is how he met Janet. Janet's parents have told that she is not to have any contact with him. She has decided to show her parents how much this hurts her. She went and took a pop can lid and scratched her wrists and then walked by her parents so they could see this. She had no intention of hurting herself seriously. She wanted to drive her parents nuts. It was successful. They were more excited about this than anything she had ever done!

Janet was not trying to kill herself. What she was doing was not going to really hurt her. She needs help, but probably not this very minute.

Medically non-serious, Psychologically serious

Wayne is 16. He has been very depressed for the last year and has a full depressive syndrome. He is now failing in school, refusing to do work around the house, and all he does is sit in his room and listen to his stereo with the headphones on loud. He overheard his mother mention that the pills she was taking for her nerves were quite strong, so she was only taking a half. So he thought that sounded like a good way to go. He took the 7 remaining pills. They were .5 mg Ativan (Lorazepam) pills and this was a very small dose. He took them, fell asleep, and woke up a little tired the next morning. His mom asked if he had seen her pills and he told her the story.

Wayne was really trying to kill himself. He just did not know that what he was doing was not that serious. Wayne needs to be seen by a therapist or psychiatrist immediately and watched carefully before then.

Medically serious, Psychologically non-serious

Diane is 13. She just found out that she will not be going to her best friend's house for a sleep over birthday party. She has gone to her house for abut three years. Now her best friend has invited some new friends and Diane is not going. The other girls who are going are all talking about it at school. It seems to Diane that they are just doing it to bug her. Diane has been pretty irritable lately, and that may or may not have something to do with why she was not invited. She has decided to take some pills on the night of the party so they will be really sorry. She has decided to take some tylenol, which she believes is very safe. She takes 30. Nothing happens. She goes to tell her mom, but her mom is on the phone. She goes up to her room and falls asleep. The next morning she tells her mom. Diane is very surprised when she ends up in the hospital with IV medications to counteract the tylenol.

Diane did not really want to kill herself. She wanted to make a point. Unfortunately, she did not realize how dangerous tylenol overdoses can be.

Medically Serious, Psychologically serious

Yvon is 16. His girlfriend has left him after he lost his temper with her. He was suspended from school for swearing at the teacher last week. His parents are constantly yelling at him for nothing. He has a headache all the time and feels like the world would be a much better place without him. While his dad is out fishing, he goes to the shed and gets some rope and sets it up to hang himself. He kicks away the chair just as the door opens. His dad forgot the bait bags. His father always told the story afterwards how his forgetfulness saved his son's life.

Managing Suicidal Thoughts and Behavior

When a person has thoughts about killing themselves or actually makes an attempt, there are a number of things that need to be done:

1. Take it seriously

If a child is saying he or she wants to die, it is worthy of attention. Maybe it is really nothing. At the very least, it requires a heart to heart talk. Many adults believe that children and teenagers do not really mean it when they talk about suicide. Data collected in the last two decades clearly suggests that sometimes children do mean it.

2. Take away the taboo from talking about suicide

If you have a depressed child, they certainly may be thinking about suicide. Not talking about it will not make this possibility go away. At the very least, openly ask the child if they are thinking about suicide. If some stressor has occurred (for example, girl friend and boyfriend troubles) ask again.

3. Get some help

Suicidal thinking or attempts almost always means that some sort of professional help is indicated. Most children and adolescents who have suicidal thoughts or have made suicidal attempts have at least one, and sometimes more than one, psychiatric disorder. These disorders obviously need to be identified and treated. For medically serious attempts, it usually means going directly to a hospital, and then seeing a psychiatrist once the medical emergency has passed. Sometimes it means psychiatric hospitalization. For less serious attempts, it means getting seen in the next week or so.

4. Supervision

If your child makes a suicide attempt or has a plan, you need to make sure they are not alone. They need to be watched until they can be carefully assessed. This may just be a matter of a day or so, or it could be longer. No one likes being watched all the time, and it is exhausting to all concerned.

5. Avoid manipulation

Some people will use suicidal thoughts or attempts to get what they want or to get out of things they do not want to do. People try suicide to hurt others, to try to get back at boy or girl friends, and to get out of work or school. By keeping this possibility in mind, most parents (with a little help) can prevent suicidal behavior from becoming a habit.

6. Preventing suicide by restricting access to guns, pills, etc.

Sometimes people forget that the most important thing to do about suicidal children is to make sure they don't have access to the common methods people use. That means putting away all medications in a locked cabinet. It means guns should not be in the home, even if they are locked up. It means that razors for shaving are kept in the same place medications are. These simple suggestions can make a great deal of difference.

The National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or for a crisis center in your area, go here.

next: A Suicide: No Warning Of Her Decision To End Her Life
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression

It's stirred up much controversy, but the abortion pill known as RU486, also called mifepristone, appears to have another use that few are likely to oppose: a treatment for psychotic depression.

A small study on a group of 30 volunteers at Stanford University indicated that the abortion pill resulted in improvements in symptoms for psychotic depression, which can include not only feelings of hopelessness and sadness, but hallucinations and delusions.

"Some psychotically depressed patients are dramatically better within a few days," says Alan Schatzberg, MD, chair of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford. They stop hearing voices and having pessimistic kinds of delusions, like they're dying or the world is ending. We've seen the response within a four day study. This is fairly dramatic."

Traditionally, patients with psychotic depression receive one of two treatments: combined antidepressant and antipsychotic medication, or electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). Even when effective, both treatments are relatively slow and can leave symptoms that last for months.

"With mifepristone (RU-486) there's a very quick intervention. The patients often feel better and then we can put them on conventional antidepressants without the antipsychotics or ECT," Schatzberg says. "What's interesting is that the results are not effervescent. The patients feel better and it lasts. Nobody's had to come back, nobody's had to undergo ECT."

The social implications of the treatment are profound, Schatzberg says, both because mifepristone might eliminate the need for shock treatments and because it comes from a drug with other uses that some people don't like.

Originally mifepristone was developed as a steroid treatment for Cushing's disease, to block the adrenal hormone cortisol. But since progesterone receptors and cortisol receptors are structurally related, mifepristone also blocks progesterone, an effect that makes it useful as an abortifacient and, in smaller doses, as an emergency contraceptive.

Research over the last 17 years has revealed that cortisol, a hormone released during times of significant stress, is extremely elevated in psychotically depressed patients. It seems their sustained levels of cortisol create a chronic stress reaction. This in turn may cause psychotic depression, including memory problems, sleep disturbances and hallucinations.

The research, published in the journal Biological Psychiatry, suggests that even a week on the pill can reduces surges of the stress hormone cortisol, which is strongly linked to psychotic depression.

Since the risk of suicide is greater with this form of depression, the researchers say they expect that RU486 could save lives.

next: Why Depression Can Strike Again
~ depression library articles
~ all articles on depression